I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
