I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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