you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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