i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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