did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my shit smells like andre
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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