Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i need some magic done to my vagina
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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