I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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