Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize