is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
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So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
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So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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