Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(936): View more from Texas

Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.

(1-936): View more from Texas

Can I eat your pillow?

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(571): View more from Virginia

is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?

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(831): View more from California

She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.

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(503): View more from Oregon

So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.

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(406): View more from Montana

One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!

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(404): View more from Georgia

B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'

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