Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!