So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Randomize
