there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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