Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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