yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
They have beer where we have blood.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
