Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize