So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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