they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
