So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
