I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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