its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
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We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
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I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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