my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
