How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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