Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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