3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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