Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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