Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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