Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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