You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I have post one night stand depression
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