so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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