Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
