He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
