Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
