I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
