I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
