I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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