I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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