its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
