In the future we'll all be gay
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
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Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
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Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Drunk is not a location!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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