I got chris browned last night
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
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We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
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Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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