I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Randomize
