she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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