so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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