So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
