I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
there was a trapeze. enough said
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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