My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you win again, gameday.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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