My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
