I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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