Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize