Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize