Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
