I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
