so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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