Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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