Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
