found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
