Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
