I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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