is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
