Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
